一轮复习续写:学习技能篇+如何进行场景描写2023
学习技能篇+如何进行场景描写 学生版
学习技能一般属于人与自我的主题语境,学习技能会涉及成功学会某种技能。如:我学会了滑冰、表演、骑自行车等。在话题中会写到作者遇到的困难挫折并如何克服困难,战胜挫折与恐惧或化解矛盾与冲突等从而学会某种技能,成功演出或赢得比赛。
体裁:记叙文 话题:给爷爷制作拐杖 关键词:family 词数:347
来源:《5·3 基础题》2023版 2022山东潍坊一模
阅读下面短文, 根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
A Gift for Grandpa
The summer vacation was coming. Jack and his brother Berlin were filled with excitement as they thought of visiting their grandparents again.
The big day came at last. After the happy family got ready, they set out for the grandparents’ eagerly. On the way, the brothers were excitedly talking about the fun they had with grandparents.
A little blue house with a tall white chimney finally appeared. Behind the property was the forest carrying their good memories with Grandpa. They arrived at the driveway, at the end of which Grandpa was waiting for them joyfully.
Jack and Berlin each gave Grandpa a big hug and then swept to the living room, shouting excitedly, “Grandpa, we are back!”
Seeing his grandsons, Grandpa was wild with joy and tried to get up with all his strength from the chair but in vain. A helpless expression flashed on his face. Grandma explained that his health was declining rapidly and maybe couldn’t stand up on his own forever. But Grandpa declared stubbornly, “I can!” Certainly, he was stuck in his boyish way. Mum and grandparents were happy to meet again after a long time. They sat together and chatted about what happened recently.
The brothers were soon bored with adult conversation, went out and wandered into the forest. Tall trees stretched up to the heavens with large branches crossing each other, while young ones rose straight like soldiers. Grandpa was once a great explorer full of wisdom. He could tell where the birds came from only by their calls and songs. The trees, birds, lizards, lost of bugs … How many merry moments they spent with Grandpa in the kingdom!
But now Grandpa couldn’t get up. This made them worried. “We’d think out a way to cheer him up,” Jack said. “Grandpa is a bird lover, and we can catch him a bird,” Berlin suggested. “But he hates birds being caged!” Jack shook his head.
Then a bright idea came to Jack’s mind. “Why not make a cane (拐杖) out of a young tree?”
注意:续写词数应为150左右。
Berlin thought it was a good idea. _______________________________________________
Jack and Berlin handed the cane to Grandpa. ______________________________________
【思路分析】
1. 审要求:读后续写,本文属于记叙文
2. 审人称、时态:第三人称,一般过去时为主
3. 审要点:杰克和弟弟去看望爷爷,非常兴奋→发现爷爷无法站立→杰克和弟弟走进森林→兄弟俩人决定给爷爷做一根拐杖
续写时需要注意以下问题:
1) What did the two brothers do?
2) How did the brothers make the cane?
3) How did Grandpa feel when he received the cane?
4) What did Jack notice?
4. 审所给首句
Para. 1 Berlin thought it was a good idea.
柏林认为这是个好主意。根据首句可知,本段描写兄弟两人寻找合适的小树、做拐杖的过程。本段重在动作描写。
Para. 2 Jack and Berlin handed the cane to Grandpa.
杰克和柏林把拐杖递给爷爷。根据首句可知,接下来的续写需要描述爷爷拿到拐杖后的反应。如爷爷借助拐杖站了起来,其他家人的反应等。
图片
【抓伏笔自问式思路启发】
Berlin thought it was a good idea.
衔接句1:__________________________________________________
情节推进:____________________________________________________
衔接句2:_____________________________________________________
Jack and Berlin handed the cane to Grandpa.
衔接句3:_____________________________________________________
情节推进:____________________________________________________
结尾: ___________________________________________________
【语料】
一、期待与兴奋
1. 杰克和他的兄弟柏林一想到要再次去看望祖父母就兴奋不已。
Jack and his brother Berlin _______________________________ as they thought of visiting their grandparents again.
2. 在路上,兄弟俩兴高采烈地谈论着他们和祖父母在一起的乐趣。
On the way, the brothers _________________________________ the fun they had with grandparents.
二、表情与性格
1. 他脸上闪现出无助的表情。
A helpless expression ________________ his face.
2. 但爷爷固执地宣称:“我能!”当然,他这是耍孩子气。
But Grandpa __________________, “I can!” Certainly, he was stuck in his boyish way.
三、亲人见面与高兴
1. 杰克和柏林都给了奶奶一个大大的拥抱,然后冲到客厅,兴奋地喊道:“爷爷,我们回来了!”
Jack and Berlin each __________________________ and then _____________ the living room, ___________________ “Grandpa, we are back!”
2. 看到孙子们,爷爷欣喜若狂。
Seeing his grandsons, Grandpa was _________________.
3. 妈妈和祖父母很高兴在很长一段时间后再次见面。
Mum and grandparents were happy to meet again after a long time.
四、场景描写
1. 终于出现了一座带白色烟囱的蓝色小房子。房子后面是森林,承载着他们和爷爷的美好回忆。
A little blue house with a tall white chimney finally appeared. ________________________________ the forest carrying their good memories with Grandpa.
2. 他们来到了家门前的车道上,在尽头,奶奶正高兴地等着他们。
They arrived at the driveway, _____________________ Grandma was waiting for them joyfully.
3. 高大的树木直插云霄,巨大的树枝相互交叉,而年幼的树木则像士兵一样笔直地矗立着。
Tall trees ______________ to the heavens with large branches _______________ each other, while young ones _________________________.
4. 树、鸟、蜥蜴,很多虫子……他们和爷爷在这片王国里度过了多少欢乐时光。
The trees, birds, lizards, lots of bugs … ________________________________ they spent with Grandpa in the kingdom!
五、制作拐杖小情节
1. 当他们选择了一棵中等大小的小树时,他们就把它砍倒,然后用刀砍掉树枝和皮。
The moment they ___________ a young tree of moderate size, they ________________ and then _________________________________ with a knife.
2. 为了让把手感到舒适,他们用软布包了起来。
To make the handle feel comfortable, they _______________________ around it.
六、收到礼物与高兴
看着那根花哨的拐杖,爷爷高兴极了,脸上的笑容像钻石一样闪闪发光。他满怀深情地感谢孙子们的礼物。
Staring at the fancy cane, Grandpa was so happy _________________________________. He thanked his grandsons for the wonderful gift _________________________.
【你的习作】
Berlin thought it was a good idea. ___________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Jack and Berlin handed the cane to Grandpa. __________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
温馨提示:有关“学习技能类”的读后续写,更多语篇可见:私家英语资源库 读后续写分话题语料库整理续:学习技能篇 20220506
附加续写微技能: 如何进行场景描写
一篇好的记叙文,无论是塑造人物形象、发展故事情节还是表达主题,都离不开精彩的场景描写。
场景是由人、事、环境组合起来的综合画面。因此,它既需要面面俱到,又不能平均使用力量,而需做到:有全貌有细节,有全景有特点,点面结合,重点突出。
不同的场景要求不同的表现手法,侧重点也会有所不同。在自然环境描写、社会环境描写和人物活动场景描写,甚至远景近景(视觉)、声音(听觉)、气味(嗅觉)、味道(味觉)和触觉这些场景描写角度和手法中,如何挑选适合的一种或几种来诠释场景,值得我们去探究和学习。
【8大场景描写技能实现场景描写营造氛围】
Technique 1: Personification (拟人)
Description/purpose:
Gives an object the characteristics of a living thing, bringing it to life
Examples:
花在点头。The flowers ______________.
雪花在跳舞。Snowflakes _____________.
雷声在咕哝着。Thunder __________________.
雾悄悄地挤了进来。Fog ______________.
风呼啸着。The wind ____________.
鬼屋似乎在盯着我,在门口向往招手。
The haunted house seemed to _____________ me, beckoning me towards the door.
Technique 2: simile (明喻)
Description/purpose:
Similes likens something to something else giving a more detailed description
Examples:
夜空像最深处的海洋一样黑暗。The night sky was _____________________________.
星星像钻石一样闪闪发光。The stars _________________________________.
蛇就像池塘上的涟漪一样在移动。The snake _________________________________.
Technique 3: metaphor (暗喻)
Description/purpose:
Metaphors say that something is something else, giving the description more power
Examples:
恐惧之浪席卷了他。
____________________ washed over him.
Technique 4:Vivid adjectives (生动的形容词)
Description/purpose:
To make the story more interesting and vivid by using more imaginative descriptions , sometimes in a list
Examples:
晶莹剔透的雪花。
Gleaming, glistening, whispery flakes of snow
Technique 5: Negative description (否定描述)
Description/purpose:
To tell the reader what is not there is an effective way of showing how unpleasant, comfortless a place is
Examples:
没有垫子,没有地毯,没有温暖,没有光线,也没有舒适感。
There was no cushion, no carpet, no warmth, no light and no comfort.
Technique 6: Camera-pan and zoom (摄影-全景+放大)
Description/purpose:
To use the idea of how a film director works, you can give a wider view then focus in on one detail
Examples:
From the withering trees he looked past the littered farmyard, across to the decrepit hovel. Its doors hung sadly awry, the handle broken.
翻译:__________________________________________________________________________
Technique 7: Nouns for details (细节名词)
Description/purpose:
Scenes are filled with things that we see and therefore uses lots of nouns, even lists of nouns to convey what is there.
Examples:
The rooms were crowded with lanterns fastened on oak paneled walls, tables laid with silver candlesticks and goblets.
翻译:_____________________________________________________________________
Technique 8: Senses(感官)
Description/purpose:
All of our senses become aware in a new situation or place. Your reader needs to know how your character are feeling.
Examples:
Wafts of salt-laden air were in her nostrils as the skittery sand on her feet led her to the edge of the waves.
翻译:_____________________________________________________________________
【案例解析】
一、火灾场景:夜半着火了,俩女孩自救——摘自《阳光英语》高三下
Meg didn’t feel the draught of night air that blew in through the open window above her. She didn’t see the hot ashes swirl out of the fire beneath the oven. At first she didn’t smell the hay, smouldering in the corner of the next room.
A ribbon of smoke floated across her face and made her cough. It woke her. She rubbed her stinging eyes. Through the office door, she saw flames climbing up the wall. She heard them crackling in the wooden ceiling.
We’ll have to get out, Meg thought, but we’ll never get past that fire!
She shook her sister. “Wake up, Lottie!”
Lottie stirred and opened her eyes. She clung to Meg, terrified by the leaping flames. Meg lifted her up to the window and pushed her out feet first. The bag of clothes went next. Then Meg scrambled up onto the desk. The window was small. Meg got one arm through, then her head. Her shoulders were a tight squeeze. She was halfway out when the money bag, still tied around her waist, caught on the window frame.
“Pull me, Lottie!” Meg screamed. Lottie grabbed Meg’s shoulders. Meg wriggled and heaved with her elbows. When she finally slithered to the ground, her father’s trousers were smouldering!
翻译:
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赏析:
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
二、作者和兄弟姐妹们一起装饰圣诞树——摘自心灵鸡汤 The Gift of Dignity
Back in those days it was left up to us kids to get a Christmas tree and decorate it. Sometimes we’d cut down a pine tree—there weren’t many cedars in our part of the country—and then we’d color paper strips and glue them together to make chains to put on the tree. We never had any store-bought decorations that I can remember. Once the paper chains were on the tree we’d add red berries, or anything that we could find with some color to it. A couple of folks who were regular visitors to our home happened to be cigar smokers. They smoked cigars that came wrapped in little gold-colored bands. So we used those bands for decorations. We used anything that had some shine.
翻译:
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赏析:
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三、作者突然意识到自己需要帮助的场景——摘自心灵鸡汤Stuck With No Way Out
At five feet, three inches tall and well under a hundred pounds I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, How did I get to be such a pig? At that moment it struck me, I don't know where the clarity came from, but, looking back on it, I am grateful it did come. I thought, I need help. This need for perfection and this compulsive behavior was literally going to kill me.
翻译:
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赏析:
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四、恶劣天气描写——摘自《阳光英语》上
One day, while out walking, Thomas felt a strong wind beginning to blow. As he battled his way along the beach, threatening clouds gathered and blotted out the entire sky. The wind howled like a pack of hounds. Suddenly, the storm broke and the rain poured down.
翻译:
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赏析:
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五、救援过后,托马斯遍寻爱人玛丽娜不到。——摘自《阳光英语》上
When the fishermen were all safe, the helpers went home, leaving Thomas alone on the beach. He searched without success for Marina, then hurried anxiously back to their cottage. He found it empty. Thomas rushed back to the beach.
“Marina! Marina!” he called loudly, but there was no answer. Thomas ran to the farmhouses. He searched and searched, but nobody had seen Marina. He returned home and spent a sleepless night in a chair by the fire.
The next morning, Thomas hurried down to the beach. Again there was no answer to his calling, only the sound of the waves breaking on the shore and pounding on the rocks. Thomas walked sadly home.
翻译:
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赏析:
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【练习】
1. Jane感到害怕,她坐在一棵树旁,紧紧地用双臂抱住肩膀让自己暖和点。
__________________, Jane sat beside a tree and held her shoulders in her arms tightly to make herself warmer.
2. 月亮像一盏昏暗的灯,从上面照下来,星星也好奇地眨着眼。
Like a dim lamp, the moon shone from above and the stars ______________________________.
3. 为了取暖,父亲生了一堆火。一切万籁俱寂,只有呼呼的风声和噼噼啪啪的火苗声相伴。
To keep warm, father built a campfire. Everything ___________, only _________________and the flames of the fire for company.
4. 她尴尬得要死,心脏在剧烈地跳动着,撞击着她的肋骨。
She was ________________________, heart ________________ and banging against her ribs.
5. 她极悲伤地向我走来,眼里的光都黯淡了,对我说道:“我失败了。”
She walked to me ____________, the light in her eyes ____________, and said with sadness, “I failed.”
学习技能篇:微技能6 如何进行场景描写 教师版
学习技能一般属于人与自我的主题语境,学习技能会涉及成功学会某种技能。如:我学会了滑冰、表演、骑自行车等。在话题中会写到作者遇到的困难挫折并如何克服困难,战胜挫折与恐惧或化解矛盾与冲突等从而学会某种技能,成功演出或赢得比赛。
体裁:记叙文 话题:给爷爷制作拐杖 关键词:family 词数:347
来源:《5·3 基础题》2023版 2022山东潍坊一模
更多详细解答,请参考私家英语资源库20220304 读后续写:给爷爷的礼物
阅读下面短文, 根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。
A Gift for Grandpa
The summer vacation was coming. Jack and his brother Berlin were filled with excitement as they thought of visiting their grandparents again.
The big day came at last. After the happy family got ready, they set out for the grandparents’ eagerly. On the way, the brothers were excitedly talking about the fun they had with grandparents.
A little blue house with a tall white chimney finally appeared. Behind the property was the forest carrying their good memories with Grandpa. They arrived at the driveway, at the end of which Grandpa was waiting for them joyfully.
Jack and Berlin each gave Grandpa a big hug and then swept to the living room, shouting excitedly, “Grandpa, we are back!”
Seeing his grandsons, Grandpa was wild with joy and tried to get up with all his strength from the chair but in vain. A helpless expression flashed on his face. Grandma explained that his health was declining rapidly and maybe couldn’t stand up on his own forever. But Grandpa declared stubbornly, “I can!” Certainly, he was stuck in his boyish way. Mum and grandparents were happy to meet again after a long time. They sat together and chatted about what happened recently.
The brothers were soon bored with adult conversation, went out and wandered into the forest. Tall trees stretched up to the heavens with large branches crossing each other, while young ones rose straight like soldiers. Grandpa was once a great explorer full of wisdom. He could tell where the birds came from only by their calls and songs. The trees, birds, lizards, lost of bugs … How many merry moments they spent with Grandpa in the kingdom!
But now Grandpa couldn’t get up. This made them worried. “We’d think out a way to cheer him up,” Jack said. “Grandpa is a bird lover, and we can catch him a bird,” Berlin suggested. “But he hates birds being caged!” Jack shook his head.
Then a bright idea came to Jack’s mind. “Why not make a cane (拐杖) out of a young tree?”
注意:续写词数应为150左右。
Berlin thought it was a good idea. _______________________________________________
Jack and Berlin handed the cane to Grandpa. ______________________________________
【思路分析】
1. 审要求:读后续写,本文属于记叙文
2. 审人称、时态:第三人称,一般过去时为主
3. 审要点:杰克和弟弟去看望爷爷,非常兴奋→发现爷爷无法站立→杰克和弟弟走进森林→兄弟俩人决定给爷爷做一根拐杖
续写时需要注意以下问题:
1) What did the two brothers do?
2) How did the brothers make the cane?
3) How did Grandpa feel when he received the cane?
4) What did Jack notice?
4. 审所给首句
Para. 1 Berlin thought it was a good idea.
柏林认为这是个好主意。根据首句可知,本段描写兄弟两人寻找合适的小树、做拐杖的过程。本段重在动作描写。
Para. 2 Jack and Berlin handed the cane to Grandpa.
杰克和柏林把拐杖递给爷爷。根据首句可知,接下来的续写需要描述爷爷拿到拐杖后的反应。如爷爷借助拐杖站了起来,其他家人的反应等。