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读后续写大招之“三首歌” 学会环境描写

2024-05-14 09:02:53 环境

读后续写大招之“三首歌” 学会环境描写

环境描写,是续写重要描写手段之一,可以起到融情与景的效果,衬托人物的内心世界。适当的环境描写可以使文章读起来有真实感。


比较下面两种表达:

I go to school happily.

加上环境描写:

The morning sunshine shining gently, fragrant flowers smiling from ear to ear, green trees swaying cheerfully, I together with Tom and Jerry set out early riding my bike, talking and singing all the way.


环境描写示例:


1. I can well remember that there was a time when a deep blue sky, the song of the birds, moonlight and flowers could never have kept me spellbound.

2. The wind was howling dreadfully and the rain was pouring heavily, whipping against the branches of lined tress,a strong feeling of horror creeping on me.


环境描写大招一

刘德华演唱《冰雨》:

冷冷的  冰雨  在我脸上  胡乱地  拍

形容词  意象   介短      副词  动词

The icy rain is whipping my face mercilessly.

大招一:形容词+意象+动词+副词/方位介短

招式体验:

1)The wind blew.

改写:The gentle warm wind blew softly on the face.

2)The trees waved.

改写:The tall green trees waved quietly on the roadsides.

3)The sun shone.

改写:

The morning sun shone on the ground warmly and gently.

The warm morning sunlight fell on the ground mildly.

具体续写过程中,可将三个(多个)意象结合起来,形成排比句,综合表达,构建更动感的画面。如:

That night wind howled ruthlessly. 

夜风无情地呼啸着。

Some unknown creatures murmured in the dark. 

一些不知名的生物在黑暗中喃喃自语。

The moonlight shone weakly on the ground. 

月光微弱地照在地上。

合并:The night wind howled ruthlessly, nameless creatures murmured in the dark and the moonlight shone weakly on the ground.

排比句:意象1+动词1,意象2+动词2,and 意象3+动词3.

场景综合表达示例:

1. stream溪流: The afternoon sunlight fell on the grass, the wind blew lightly, and the water flew silently down the stream.

2. flame火灾: Hot air enveloped the room, the lights glowed in the smoke, and flames spread wildly in all directions.

3. beach海边: The mild sunlight fell on the sand, the air blew softly from the sea, and the crowds played happily on the beach.

4. lake湖边: The thin clouds flew slowly in the sky, the tall green trees waved wildly in the wind, and the sunlight shone on the lake.

5. classroom: Lights shone brightly on the floor, tidy desks and chairs lined up neatly, and the students listened to the teacher attentively.

6. playground: Blazing sunlight burned like an oven, hot air surrounded the playground, the crowds were cheered wildly the runners.

真题实践:根据中文,完成下列句子

1. The sun shone warmly on the runway, the trees glowed in the warm sunlight, all of which were encouraging David to complete the run. 阳光热烈地洒在跑道上,树木闪烁着微光,这一切都在鼓励着David坚持完成跑步。

2. The leaves were shimmering, the air was filled with delight, and everything around was celebrating David’s bravery. 树叶闪着微光,空气弥漫着快乐的气息,周围一切都在庆祝David的勇敢。

3. The warm sun shone on David’s face, the trees swayed with the wind, and the whole forest applauded David’s courage. 暖阳洒在大卫的脸上,树木们随风摇曳,整座森林都为大卫的勇气而喝彩。

4. Bathed in the warm sunshine, the trees waved in the breeze, sharing David’s delight of finishing the game. 沐浴再温暖的阳光下,树木在微风中摇曳,分享着David完成比赛的喜悦。


环境描写大招二

伍佰《与你到永久》:


风儿轻轻的吹,雨也绵绵下个不停

The wind blows gently, and the rain keeps falling.

——A gentle wind breezing, a fine drizzle was falling steadily like my missing for you.

大招二:写景+比喻+特点:

句式:写景句(本体),+ like + 喻体 + that从句/非谓语动词

招式体验:

1. The stars are in the sky.

改写:The bright stars scattered in the sky, like gems twinkling brilliantly. 天上的星星像宝石一样闪闪发光。

2. The tree is waving.

改写:The trees waved wildly in the air, like drunken man trembling from side to side. 树像醉汉一样摇摇晃晃。

3. The stars sparkled.

改写:The stars sparkled vividly, like a curious child glazing at us.

The stars sparkled vividly, like a curious child, that glazed at us.

The stars sparkled vividly, like naughty children looking at us with curiosity. 顽皮的孩子好奇地看着我们。

4. A fire still fluttered in the grate, like a bird trying to find its way out of the room. 一团火还在壁炉炉膛里舞动着,就像一只挣脱束缚的鸟。

5. The last leaf of autumn fluttered to the ground, like a drop of autumn’s tear, melting silently in his overwhelming sorrow. 秋天的最后一片叶子像一滴秋天的眼泪一样飘落在地上,在巨大的悲伤中默默融化。

大招二表达示例:

1. wind:The icy wind started howling, like a sharp knife scratching my face.

2. sun: The morning sunlight flooded in through the curtain, like pieces of gold dancing on the floor.

3. tree: Tall trees lined up on both sides of the street, like soldiers throwing long shadows on the ground.

4. cloud: The white clouds hang low in the sky, like pieces of cotton sailing with the wind.

5. rain: The dreadful rain was pouring down, like monsters beating wildly against the windows.

6. flower: The flowers dotted the garden, like spirits dancing gracefully in the air.


环境描写大招三

《漂洋过海来看你》:


在漫天风沙里望着你远去,我竟悲伤的不能自已

I was too sad to control myself as seeing you going away in the sandy storm.

—The sand all over the sky, your familiar figure fading away, a flood of grief welled up in my heart, sweeping over my body.

方法三:情景交融:写景+感受

意象+动词ing,+ 感受:

句式一:(无灵主语)a ripple of +情感名词 ran through sb’s heart; a flood of +情感名词 welled up in sb.

句式二:(人称主语)sb. was brimmed over with +情感名词;sb. was immersed in +情感名词.

大招体验:

The wind was howling dreadfully and the rain was pouring from the heaven, whipping against the branches of lined trees. I was seized with the roaring power of nature. A sense of horror creeping up on me. 风可怕地嚎叫,雨从天倾泻而来,拍打着成排的树枝。我被自然发怒的力量抓住了。一种恐惧感悄悄爬到我身上。

表达示例:

1. wind:The icy wind howling, a ripple of tension ran through his heart.

2. sun:The morning sunlight flooding in through the curtain, a ripple of satisfaction ran through the twins’ heart.

3. moon:The silvery moon glowing in the sky, a ripple of grief ran through Jane’s heart.

4. snow:Featherily snowflake falling from the sky, I was immersed in delight.

5. rain:Heavy rain beating down on the street, I was immersed in remorse.

6. crowd:Crowds of people gathering into the classroom, I was immersed in awkwardness.

综合运用:

(先尝试概括性描述,在概括描述的基础上增加细节描述,注意逻辑关系及语意的合理。)

示例:It got dark.

--- It was completely dark except the faint light given out by a few stars in the sky.

--- The world was burdened with a sea of darkness. A sense of horror creeping up on me. I immediately turned around to slide into the bed and curled up.

大招综合运用:

风:

1)这个冬季,天气异常寒冷。此刻没有风。

(概述)This winter, the weather was unusually cold. There was no wind at the moment.

(细节)This winter, the weather was unusually cold. There was no wind at the moment. The world seemed to be frozen and the river have stopped its footsteps. 这个冬季,天气异常寒冷。此刻没有风,世界好像停止有这一刻,河流也停下了脚步。

2) 外面刮起了大风,地上的灰尘乱飞。

(概述)Outside, there was a strong wind, the dust on the ground flying in disorder。

(细节)Outside, there was a strong wind, blowing the branches in all directions. The dust on the ground was flying in disorder, which made people unable to open their eyes. 外面刮起了大风,吹的树枝乱摆,地上的灰尘乱飞,让人睁不开眼睛。

雨:

3) 昨天下了倾盆大雨。

(概述)It was raining cats and dogs.

(细节)It was raining cats and dogs yesterday when school was over. I was all wet when I got home. 昨天放学的时候在下着倾盆大雨。我到家时全身都湿了。

4)汤姆在暴雨中淋湿了。

(概述)Tom was caught in a heavy downpour.

(细节)Unfortunately, Tom was caught in the heavy rain, wet through from head to toe, like a drowned rat. 真不幸,汤姆在暴雨中被淋成了落汤鸡。

5) 刚才还是白云朵朵,一霎时狂风暴雨起来了。

(概述)Just now there were still white clouds, but in a flash, it poured down.

(细节)The weather in summer is unpredictable. Just now there were still white clouds, but in a flash, lightning and thunder broke out, and there came a downpour. 夏天的天气真是变幻莫测。刚才还是白云朵朵,一霎时就电闪雷鸣,狂风

暴雨起来了。

热:hot(热);melt(融化);sweat like a pig(汗流浃背);rain fire(天气火热)

1)天气闷热得要命。

(概述)The weather was so hot.

(细节)The weather was so hot that there was no wind, and the thick air seemed to be frozen. 天气闷热得要命,一丝风也没有,稠乎乎的空气好像凝住了。

2) 天气热得吓人,我汗流浃背。

(概述)The weather was terrible and I was sweating like a pig.

(细节)Though not doing anything, I was sweating like a pig. It was not just hot. It was African hot, which was too terrible to tolerate. 虽然我什么都没做,但还是汗流浃背。不止是热,是像非洲一样热!天热得吓人。

冷:cold, bone-chilling

1)天很冷。

(概述)It's freezing cold.

(细节)I can't stop shivering from the cold trembling all over. 我冷得不停打哆嗦。

2)这寒风真是刺骨.

(概述)The wind was bone-chilling.

(细节) The wind was so bone-chilling that it cut right through me. 这寒风如此刺骨,直接穿过我的身体。

应试素材积累:

1. 夏夜:宁静的夜空中挂着一轮明月和闪烁的星星,与慢节奏的村庄形成一幅和谐的美景。

There is harmony between the moon and stars in the quiet sky and the slow pace of the village.

2. 春天户外:小鸟像音乐家一样,在树上唱着优美的歌,蝴蝶像多采多姿的舞蹈家一样,拍动着翅膀,飞来飞去。

The birds, like musician, sang their melodious songs in the trees, and butterflies, like colorful dancers, were fluttering here and there.

3. 露水:当阳光照耀在露珠上时露珠像珠宝一样闪闪发光。

The drops of dew sparkle like jewels when the sun shines on them.

路边长满了嫩绿的草,草上沾满了小小的露珠,他们静静等待着大地母亲的苏醒。

The grass is soft and green on the side of the road, with little dewdrops on each piece of grass, they quietly welcome mother earth to wake up.

4. 日出:第二天,日出的光线很早就将他唤醒。夜晚的星星都被阳光藏在粉蓝色的天空下。

The next day, the sunlight woke him very early, hiding the stars under a pink blue and blue sky.

旭日从雾霭中冉冉升起,东升红彤彤,新鲜而充满生机.

The sun coming up from its flat bed of fog, red and new and full of promises.

5. 月光:一个美丽而宁静的夜晚,月亮像一个圆盘挂在黑暗的夜空中,淡淡的月光普照万物.

It is a beautiful and quiet night. The moon is like a disc hanging on the dark sky , which casts its light on everything.

6. 夏雨:开始雨点很大,溅起地上的灰尘,打在屋顶上丁当作响.

The first drops of rain are huge; they split into the dust on the ground, and plunk on the roof.

紧接着头顶上又是一声惊雷,然后天空中轰鸣的雷声不断。

Suddenly there comes a terrible thunder clap overhead, and then the sky is full of roars of thunder.

7. 冬雪:当我第二天早晨起床时,我看到大地被厚厚的白色毯子覆盖着。

When I got up the next morning, I saw that the ground was covered with a vast blanket of whiteness.

8. “安静祥和”

When I was bathed in the sunlight, it felt like the amber-like sunshine was kissing every inch of my skin. (沐浴在阳光下;琥珀色的阳光亲吻着全身的肌肤)

Mist-covered mountains(薄雾霭霭的山上) were dotted with small farms and villages.(点缀着)

The sound of my footsteps was accompanied only by the gracefully waving reeds.(优雅地随风飘扬的芦苇)

9. “风雨交加”

The sky is overcast, darkened with gloomy clouds. (乌云密布;黑云压顶)

On that dark and stormy night, the waves were crashing and the winds were howling.(海浪肆意拍打;劲风咆哮。)

The rain came pouring down, and the winds blew and beat against the house. (雨倾盆而下,洪流猛涨,狂风肆意的冲击着房屋。

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