动作细节描写 | 少女的头被南瓜卡住了
还记得自己小时候调皮捣蛋的经历吗？还记得爸妈是怎么帮你收拾烂摊子的吗？美国华盛顿州一位母亲将女儿头卡在南瓜中的视频分享到网上，画面十分搞笑，迅速在网上走红。这也出现在了2021年浙江1月高考卷——读后续写部分。
在一个寻常的周末里，蕾切尔•拉尔夫(Rachel Ralphs)和兄弟姐妹在南瓜上雕刻。她在一个大南瓜底部挖了个洞，并将里面掏空。拉尔夫太太则在一旁给他们拍视频。此时，蕾切尔突发奇想：我的小脑袋装得进这个大南瓜里吗？
让我们来一睹为快吧
续写原文
阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。
Pumpkin (南瓜）carving at Halloween is a family tradition. We visit a local farm every October. In the pumpkin field, I compete with my three brothers and sister to seek out the biggest pumpkin. My dad has a rule that we have to carry our pumpkins back home, and as the eldest child I have an advantage — I carried an 85-pounder back last year.
This year, it was hard to tell whether my prize or the one chosen by my 14-year-old brother, Jason, was the winner. Unfortunately we forgot to weigh them before taking out their insides, but I was determined to prove my point. All of us were hard at work at the kitchen table, with my mom filming the annual event. I’m unsure now why I thought forcing my head inside the pumpkin would settle the matter, but it seemed to make perfect sense at the time.
With the pumpkin resting on the table, hole uppermost, I bent over and pressed my head against the opening. At first I got jammed just above my eyes and then, as I went on with my task, unwilling to quit, my nose briefly prevented entry. Finally I managed to put my whole head into it, like a cork (软木塞) forced into a bottle. I was able to straighten up with the huge pumpkin resting on my shoulders.
My excitement was short-lived. The pumpkin was heavy. “I’m going to set it down, now,” I said, and with Jason helping to support its weight, I bent back over the table to give it somewhere to rest. It was only when I tried to remove my head that I realized getting out was going to be less straightforward than getting in. When I pulled hard, my nose got in the way. I got into a panic as I pressed firmly against the table and moved my head around trying to find the right angle, but it was no use. “I can’t get it out!” I shouted, my voice sounding unnaturally loud in the enclosed space.
注意：
1. 续写词数应为150左右；
2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
Paragraph 1:
I was stuck for five or six minutes though it felt much longer.
Paragraph 2:
That video was posted the day before Halloween.
第一节课
给足学生时间阅读，引领学生理清文章情节和故事的发展走向。同伴相互讨论，积极探讨和预测接下来的故事发展。
作文一改后部分学生作文
第二节课
提出续写存在的几个问题以及语言表达中的常见错误，着重教授“动作细节描写”。好的动作细节描写可以使人物形象及动作栩栩如生、活灵活现。分享班级学生的习作，结合学生生情，从中学会表达以及把握动作细节描写的几个提分点。
一. 学会使用逻辑连接词
是否能够熟练精准地运用逻辑词在某种程度上决定了作文的可读性和流畅度。达到行文流畅，连贯。
二. 动作细节描写要体现过程
在表现人物个性的动作时，如果只是蜻蜓点水、一笔带过，很难突出刻画人物形象，也很难给阅卷老师留下深刻的印象。而应该用一连串动作过程的展示，让故事情节更加生动活泼。
三. 使用动词要精准
对动作进行细致描写时，要用准动作类词汇。用一系列晓东而不用大动作或者含义比较明确的动词而不用抽象的动词来描述，使描写更加具体生动。
四. 动作发生时要流露感情
往往一件事情的发生会引起触动，伴随着情感状态，融合二者得以体现。
五. 并列动作的发生
表达某个动作的发生时，要学会分解动作，形成一个完成的动作链或者动作面。另外，如何并列动作的发生也很关键。当同主语发出的并列动作时，可转折、可顺承。
课后布置任务，让学生根据上课内容再次修改其作文。
作文二改后部分学生作文
通过不断的修改和润色使英语文章写的更好。